A story of awareness, resilience, and learning to feel safe again.

Lately, I’ve been stumbling across the term nervous system regulation. And it really made me pause and ask: Is my nervous system regulated? And if not, how is that affecting me?

The truth is, many of us think that once we’ve healed from our past or made peace with our traumas, the story is over. We’ve “done the work,” right? But sometimes, our subconscious—or more precisely, our body—doesn’t catch up as fast as our mind.

That’s what I realized happened to me.

When I First Noticed It

The first time I saw my nervous system completely out of regulation was when I visited my sister in Australia. We hadn’t seen each other for five years. She had no idea about my emotional progress or inner healing.

So she approached me the way she always had—triggered, defensive, manipulative. I thought I would handle it calmly. Instead, I found myself on edge, unable to fully control my emotions. And when she pointed out my reactions, it only made me spiral more.

Maybe you’ve had that experience too—when you thought you’d “moved past” something, but your body reacted like the old version of you was still alive and well.

What I Learned About Regulation

After that trip, I started digging into nervous system regulation. One thing stood out: an unregulated nervous system is often what keeps us stuck and sabotaging our own goals.

That clicked.

From then on, whenever I felt overwhelmed, I practiced checking in. I would pause, take a deep breath, and ask myself:

• What’s happening in my body right now?
• Why is it reacting this way?

This tiny act of awareness changed everything.

A Full Plate, A Stronger Mind

Funny enough, right when I began practicing this, my life got really full. I was buying an apartment, applying for a visa, moving cities, even working abroad. My plate was overflowing.

But instead of panicking, I told myself:

If I can handle all of this now, how will I handle the success I dream of one day?

That reframe made me organize myself better, juggle things more smoothly, and even enjoy the process. Sure, it was exhausting—but I wasn’t sabotaging myself anymore. And that felt empowering.

Support, Even When No One Is There

One thing I realized, though, was that when I felt scared, I didn’t feel like I could lean on anyone. No one seemed strong enough to hold me and everything going on in my life.

Maybe you’ve felt that too—that loneliness of carrying it all yourself.

What helped me was imagining my higher self—or even my future partner—holding me, comforting me, reminding me I wasn’t alone. It gave me so much strength and warmth. It turned my journey into something loving, instead of heavy.

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

After two months of hard work, one of my apartment deals fell through. Old me would have collapsed into frustration. But this time, I surprised myself.

I let myself feel sad. I stayed in that space. Then I asked my higher self what to do. And her response was simple: Everything happens for a reason.

So I shifted. I lightened up. I opened myself to better opportunities—and sure enough, I found an option that aligned even more beautifully.

That’s the thing about regulation: it’s not about controlling life, but trusting yourself enough to navigate it.

Love, Safety, and Softness

The same thing showed up in my relationships. For years, I wondered why I felt distant and cold, even after healing old wounds. The truth was, my nervous system didn’t feel safe yet.

Now it does.

And I see the difference. I cry when I need to. I say what I think. I allow myself to be soft, gentle, and emotional. And instead of feeling weak, I feel strong and confident when showing that side of me.

People notice the warmth in me now. They see the softness. And for the first time, I feel safe being all of that.

The Takeaway

Regulating our nervous system isn’t about being perfect—it’s about creating safety within ourselves. It’s learning to calm our body when it wants to react, and choosing to trust that no matter what challenges come, we have the strength and ability to find a way forward. Even in the darkest tunnels, there’s always a light waiting at the end.

I once heard something that stayed with me: It’s not fear that stops us, it’s the doubt we carry about ourselves. The moment we stop believing in our ability to navigate life, that’s when we get stuck.

So if you don’t fully trust your current self yet, lean into the vision of who you’re becoming. Call on your higher self, the version of you who already knows the way.

When we do this, we stop sabotaging ourselves. We move toward our goals with more clarity. We allow love and softness in. And we begin to see the truth: we’ve always been strong enough to hold ourselves all along.

✨ And remember this: it’s okay to discover parts of yourself you didn’t know still needed attention. When that happens, pause. Breathe. Place your hands on your chest and gently ask: “What are you telling me?” Speak to your body and let it answer. Listen in stillness. Then write down everything it shares with you. That’s where the healing begins.